The Top Ten Ways I Show my Husband that I Love Him

One of the hardest issues in Daniel and I’s relationship has been learning how to show each other love. We were great at showing each other love in our own love language but awful at speaking the others. We did the love language quiz and Daniel was 3 and I was the other 2. No real common ground and few over lapping answers. We would have been 100% screw if we did not work at helping each other see what our love languages were and how to show each other love. I hint to Daniel what I need/want and he does the same for me. I highly suggest you order The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts and read it to start off with so you know for sure what your husband’s love language is.

For Daniel though he loves quality time, physical touch, and words of affirmation. I have learned through tons of brainstorming and talking to Daniel what to do. It was 100% a learned sort of love. Because for the first few month of our relationship I showered him in gifts and did tons of cooking for him. I thought he was going to be full of love tokens but really it only worked so much. So here are my top 10 ways I show Daniel I love him.

1.       Love Notes: I sometimes make Daniel’s lunch for work. When I get to do this I will write a sweet note to him or put a piece of candy in his lunch box. It is easy and so quick to do, but it really means a lot.

2.       Learn to enjoy his Interests: This comes to play big time in what we watch on TV. Daniel is an action and scary movie guy. I am a romance, comedy, and drama girl. I have learned to enjoy UFC fights. I try to understand football. We have found shows that I can dig that are his kind of shows. Here are a few: Timeless, Lethal Weapon, and Super Girl.

3.       Pray for Him: I know to Daniel this probably means so little because he honestly has NO idea how often I do it or what I say. But I make a priority to pray for him as often as I can.

4.       Massages: Daniel works hard and stands up all day painting. He comes home sore and tired and sometimes I get to show him love in a massage. I enjoy giving a massage and love using the oils with it. I do though tend to grumble and complain about this one. But if I focus on how much I love him, all of my attitude falls away.

5.       Let Him be a Man: I HATE HATE HATE this one. As a woman I want him to be home as much as he can and be around me all the time, till I need alone time. But he on the other hands needs time outdoors and loves to camp. I love that too but I am not going camping with a 3 month old. I am not crazy. So I have to sacrifice some time with him so he can go be a man. He needs to use his machete, build a fire, and be a man. It stinks and is lonely but a man needs to feel like a man.

6.       Cuddles: I either HATE cuddles or really need them. Daniel is the same way. Sad thing is when he needs cuddles 9 times out of 10 I so do NOT want to cuddle. It is like Satan in action. But giving up my personal space and feel squished for a little bit is worth it to make your man feel loved. Not to mention once I get over myself cuddles are truly the best!

7.       Encouragement: I constantly try to affirm Daniel in what he does. Well the good things he does. I want him to know how good of a father he is, how amazing of a worker he is, and how great of a husband he is.

8.       Doing the Tasks he Hates: Daniel doesn’t like paying bills, doing paper work, budgeting, or making appointments. I don’t LOVE doing those things but I can do them. I would rather do those things than see him unhappily doing them.

9.       Oil him Up: One way I show him love is staying in tuned with how he feels. When he is depressed I will cover him in Joy, Stress Away, and Valor. When he is in pain I put Deep Relief and Orthosport on him.

10.   Brag About Him: Being your husband’s cheerleader is a common topic anymore. I think lots of women try and do it in the home. That is good and all but you should be so proud of him that you are screaming about it from the rooftops. No one else in the world is just like your husband, NO ONE! You should be bragging about how amazing he is. For Example: Daniel has a really good singing voice though he would never admit it, Daniel’s real laugh is so contagious its crazy, or Daniel is so good at learning new trades and rocking it. Share those traits with your friends when you talk about your husband.

I am by NO means perfect at loving my husband. You can ask him! He will tell you many days I fail miserably. But the point is I try. I have set down and pinpointed what I do that he receives as love. I have tried many love actions and failed many times because say gifts don’t show him love or I thought he liked a certain food and he did not. I want to make him feel more loved and accepted than he has ever felt in his life. Why? Because I know how it feels to be lonely, I know how it feels to feel worthless, and I know what it feels like to think no one really loves me. I never want him to feel that way. I never want him to feel like he doesn’t matter or isn’t one of the most important people on the planet. Because to David and I, he the most important person!