Surviving the Teething Phase

If you are reading this I am going to assume your little one is teething or have heard your friends talk about how bad it is. Teething is not only those days of nonstop tears and sleepless nights. Sometimes it is random days filled with drool, being fussy, wanting 100% of your attention, and wanting to chew on everything. It can test your patience. Not to mention someone is going to end up telling you that holding your baby all day will spoil it. But if you don’t you hold your baby it is constant fussing. Don’t worry mama the research shows it will not hurt your baby to hold them all the time. So go pick up your baby right now and hold them.


I am here to tell you that nothing is going to make this season go away, but we can make it easier. I have found a few things that help. Try them all and see what works for your little one. At the end of the day it will help you keep your sanity by trying different tactics. Nothing is worse than giving into feeling helplessness. So pick out a few ideas from my list and start finding a solution.

1.       Amber Teething Necklace: This may sound super “woowoo” to wear a necklace to fix pain but it works. When your body heats up the bead it releases an acid that is a natural analgesic. It ends up reducing pain and swelling. I love and use this one for Joann.

2.       Baby Bandana Drool Bibs: If your little one is anything like my Joann they drool like crazy. Joann uses between 3 and 9 bibs a day. She soaks through them so quickly. I have fallen in love with these for a girl and these are the boy version. Your baby will be happier with its clothes dry.

3.       Teething Toy with Clip: I have learned it is very useful to have a good quality teething toy to clip on your babies clothes. I have fallen in love the Dino Eggie Teether. Don’t worry it is BPA free and CPSC lab tested and approved. Joann loves it and can hold it by herself even at 4 months.

4.       Essential Oils: Essential oils have been a huge help for my two little kids. Make sure you buy therapeutic grade. I recommend using Young Living essential oils because of their seed to seal promise of impeccable quality. I use the oils: Seedlings Calming, Lavender, Frankincense, and Gentle Baby. If your little one is older you can use diluted Clove in their mouth to numb the gums. I apply oils on their feet and back as well as diffuse them.

5.       Baby Teether Toys: I love using these toys. I got these for Joann for Christmas. They are BPA, latex, and phthalate free. They have soothing massage points on the toys. My favorite part is that they come with a tub to store them in. Also two of them whistle! My three year old found that out.

6.       Breastfeeding Mom Tip: If your baby is eating less you need to be pumping. Too often Joann feels bad and will not eat. Of course my supply lowers. But in two days your baby will be just as hungry again so pump at normal feeding times.

7.       Relaxing Music: Play some relaxing music during this time. It will may calm the baby. It will for sure calm you. It will help you keep a level head.

I am going to leave you with some encouragement. This too shall pass, mama. Your little one will not be fussy forever. Each day you will get better at soothing your baby during the hard times. Motherhood is the ultimate job of service. You are that baby’s everything. No one can do a better job than you; and you are doing an amazing job. Just by reading this post you are helping your baby. Good job mama - you can do it!

“My Husband is so Lazy and Never Helps with the Kids or Cleaning!” Have you said this too?

I know I am not the only one who has been caught saying this. In fact I spent the whole first year of our marriage saying that all the time. It almost ruined us. In fact the only reason it didn’t was because I got a job and we became more like equals. Now I am back at home being a wife, mom, and homemaker. It can often feel that our husbands are lazy. I mean they get off work and sit on the couch watching The Mandalorian or playing video games. We have the overwhelming pressure to get dinner on, clean the house, wrangle the kids, and after doing all the things we are supposed to save energy for intimate time with our husbands. Let’s be real we almost never get all those things done successfully, instead it looks like utter chaos, an emotional breakdown in the kitchen, and by the time you crawl into bed your literally snoring the second your head hits the pillow.

We are over worked and underappreciated. So obviously this man who expects everything from us is lazy. He pees on the toilet rim, leaves his clothes on the floor, and thinks watching TV with the kids is a quality way to take care of them. What a lazy man! Why should we serve him? Why won’t he help us? Why does he get to be lazy and yet we are supposed to be freaking Cinderella. By that I mean a maid, last on the priority list, never has time for rest, and supposed to show up beautiful at midnight. Why would we every want to show him love?

Let me be real honest with you for a second. I want to ask you a question and then show you an alternative reality. Don’t close the browser give me a real chance. It will be worth it trust me. Ask yourself, “What do I do for him?” I am not talking about making him dinner, grocery shopping, cleaning the house, keeping the kids alive, and keeping the house from burning down. What do you do for him outside of your role/job as mother and housekeeper? What do you do for him as a loving wife? And no sex once a week in which you complain about and think about your to-do list during does NOT count. What do you do for your husband as a loving wife?

When we become moms we put our husbands on the back burner. He no longer gets our attention and love. In a marriage where it once brought you joy to cook and clean for him; you don’t feel like it anymore. In a marriage where once he came home to help you clean as fast as he could so the two of you could have a romantic night together. That reality no longer exists. It is gone. Both of you feel like the last man on the totem pole.

From a man’s perspective this is what he sees. He wakes up early to go to a job he hates, works long hours at, or is just plain stressful. He gets ready and goes to work and is lucky to get a kiss from a fast asleep wife. He throws whatever is in the fridge, sometimes only yogurt and fruit, into his lunch box because if he breaks the budget and eats out there will be hell to pay. He spends all day busting his butt working hard. He gets a few texts from his wife now and then, but when she has a question she won’t stop calling or texting in all caps. He thinks, “Does she not understand this is dangerous,” “I’m in a meeting,” or “I am not even near my phone?” But when I call her and need her because I am on my way to the ER, I need the kid’s socials for insurance, or I can’t remember what time my appointment is she never answers. He gets home to a house with a full mailbox and 3 Amazon Prime packages still on the doorstep. He opens the door to kids running around, toys are all over, the kitchen has dishes still from yesterday in the sink, the TV is on, and his wife walks up with a smile rocking a messy bun and sweats as she hands the baby off to him. He doesn’t get to even shower, change, or poop before he watches the kids. All he can see is a wife who cannot handle her responsibilities and shows him no respect for the work he does. He feels defeated and underappreciated.

Now that I have truly got your attention, let me tell you a super simple way to remedy at least part of this problem. Mama you have got to step up your game. Turn on something that gets you motivated. Listen to Rachel Hollis or Eric Thomas, whoever lights a fire under you. Get to work being a mom, homemaker, and wife.  Start by doing three things a day for your husband as a wife. You know what he likes and what will make him happy. One of the things I try to do for my husband is I wake up with him and make him breakfast, lunch, or both. Somedays I get dressed up just for him an hour before he comes home. I also will from time to time do come cute ideas from the Dating Divas website. I also will layout his clothes for him or have a snack ready for him. Figure out what will make your husband feel loved and do three of them a day. Make him proud that you are his wife. After you have done this for three weeks selflessly, with joy, and expecting nothing in return, reevaluate. Is he still doing nothing or has he began serving you too? If he still is not serving you, then talk to him out of love because you are now being the housekeeper, mom, and wife you are supposed to be.

You may say, “But I have too much on my plate,” “I am just too tired,” or “you have not met my kids.” Girl, this comes from someone who was the messiest person ever; ask my family. Not to mention the fact that I do not enjoy cooking with kids around. It is next to impossible and so stressful. I used to be a competitive snoozer and would take a nap every afternoon. But guess what, I learned something new! I researched and found tips and tricks to make being a wife, house keeper, and mother easier. Do NOT settle mama! Your family deserves the best of you. All you need to do is find out how to give that to them. Start today by adding to your to-do list three special things for your husband. You can do this. Stick to this for three weeks.

If you need more tip and tricks to be successful at this wife, mom, and housekeeping thing be sure to follow me on Instagram. There you will get my daily tips and get notified each time my weekly blog post comes out. You can follow me  on Instagram here. I truly hope this will help you as it has changed my marriage.

Is it Worth it to Make Plans or Goals as a Mom?

All our lives we are put on a schedule, we make goals, we have planners, we create dream boards, and we reach for the stars. But when entering into motherhood those plans, goals, and schedules get lost. It may happen as early as that first trimester when you are throwing up nonstop and can’t eat all day. If not then maybe in your third trimester if you get put on bed rest, you’re a swelling, you are tired, and nothing seems to get done. Now let’s assume for the 10% of the women left it hits when baby gets here. You are now waking up every 3 hours, you are recovering from a C-section or Vaginal tears, or you have a baby who only wants to be held. At one point in your motherhood you are bound to give up the structure. Its motherhood, it is okay.

Once you give up the dreaming, the goals, the structure, and organization your days are going to blend together and feel wasted. It seems fun at first binge watching Netflix and snacking all day. But after a while you may get depressed or feel lost. It is time to dream, plan, and make things happen again. But how do you do that as a mom when “something” always happens. I am here to walk you through my process.



Step One Start Brainstorming


You need to brainstorm some ideas to start. Pick a certain amount of time. For me it is January so I am planning out the whole year’s goals. Feel free to plan a month at a time or a quarter at a time. Now get some paper and write down anything and everything you would like to happen during this time. Think of goals for your children and how you want to raise them, financial goals, spiritual goal, learning or self-development goals, giving or volunteering goals, travel goals, physical goals, social goals, and career goals/money making goals. You can dream a little bigger than normal on some of these because once you have your list you are going to choose the ones you deem worthy of committing to.

Now that you have your big list you pick the goals or items that you want to do this for this season of life. You may be able to do it all or you may realize somethings won’t fit into this year or aren’t important enough to work on. Rewrite that list and choose the ones you really want to accomplish during this time. Don’t throw away the big list keep it and after your end date you may be ready to try on those goals.


Step Two Cast your Vision


Let’s make a graphic that will remind you of your vision. In this tech age most find it easiest to edit a collage to become your phone wallpaper. You can also go old fashioned and make one on poster board or paper. Create a graphic that will make you dream. Create a graphic that will make you push through the hard days. Here is an example of my phone background for this year. On it I use tons of pictures I found on Instagram or interest. Picture one represents my goal of staying on the Baby Steps and Budgeting. Picture 2 is a graphic from my blog to remind me I want to create a new blog weekly. Picture 3 is to inspire me as we move into a new space this February to create a farm house, minimalist, and Montessori style space. Picture 4 is to inspire me to hit business goals and earn a trip to Florida with my team. Picture 5 is to inspire me to go travel this year mainly in the form of camping. Picture 6 is to inspire me to work hard in my business as well and go to our annual leadership event. Picture 7 is to inspire me on my breastfeeding journey and at least breastfeeding till one year. Picture 8 is to inspire me to have one date night a month. Picture 9 is to remind me WHY I want all of that.

Credit to photos(Pic 1 @thebudgetmom , Pic 3 Natasha Hello Happiness , Pic 4 @Jatanajackson , Pic 5 @mason_camping , Pic 6 @Teambeachbody411 , Pic 8 @datingdivas)

Step Three Make Action Plans


Go through the list of things you want to accomplish this year and find the items that are going to need a plan in order to achieve them. Examples of items on my list that need a little more detail: Start the Baby Steps, Blog Weekly, Create a Farm house/minimalist/Montessori loft, Launch a Website, and 1 Date Night a month. There was more to be planned than just doing them. I have used many tools in learning how to reverse engineer projects and goals. I would love to share a few with you so you get how to do this.

1.       The PUSH Journal is one of my favorites. I have used three of them and they are amazing for pushing towards BIG goals. It lays out for you the exact steps for getting to your goals. I have achieved amazing things when using this journal. I highly recommend it for anyone who has big goals because you are going to need to take goal planning further than the average mom. You can grab yours here.

2.       Jenna Kutcher is one of my all-time favorite teachers. I had to share with you her blog/podcast on Reverse Engineering your Goals. Its dynamite. You can check it out here. https://jennakutcherblog.com/reverse/

3.       If you want to be super simples this is an amazing way to really nail down some details to your goal. It is using the SMART method. Check it out here. https://www.pinterest.com/pin/754493743808762566/

Step Four Getting Accountability 


You have made some amazing goals now. I know you can do this but you are going to need help along the way. Find certain people to hold you accountable and check in on you every once in a while for each goal. Let me help you see how I am picking people. I want to have Date Night every month so I told Daniel to keep me accountable. I wanted to work on becoming closer to God so I joined a Bible Study and shared that with my sister who is a leader at her churches women’s ministry. So if I skip she will bug me into going back. I have income goals for my business so I will be sharing them with my business mentor. Pick someone who is passionate about that goal for you as can be. Pick someone who is comfortable calling you out. Pick someone who truly care about you.



Step Five Take Action


Congrats you have created goals. You have cast your vision and set it into your mind. You have made detailed plans to help you succeed. You have put your goals into the world and have people walking with you. How does it feel? Now do not rest and think that you are done. You have so much more to accomplish. It is now time to go out and crush your goals. Be okay if you do not hit your deadline or if a few days seem to fail. It will all be okay. You will get more done with half ass effort than no effort at all. You can do this. If you need help on organization I want to recommend the Top 3 planners I recommend and love using.

1.       The PUSH Journal This is the best one for the go getter with huge push goals.

2.       The Rustic Daily Task Planner This planner is forgiving and perfect for the busy mom and it is made by mom's small business. 

3.       Busy Bee Undated Planner This is a great organization planner for things that need to be dated. It is undated so you don't have to start at a certain time. 

I wish you the best of luck reaching for your dreams and starting to plan your life out. No matter how many goals you miss; your life will be better that it was before. This is an amazing choice you are making for yourself. Be sure to tag me on Instagram with your planners! @thewildwestdeborah

The Wild West Adventures 2019 Recap

If you were to ask me to sum up this pasts year or even the past five years I would have to say, “It was the best of times, it was the worst of time, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair…”Charles Dickens could not have described this season of life better. I would like to take you through all out big moments and show you the great events of our life during 2019. But before I do that I would like to preface it by giving you the raw truth of what was happening behind the scenes. So here we go, here is to being as transparent as I can be.

Last year was started with such hope. I had finally gotten the promotion I had been grinding for the past year. I became manager of my Palm Beach Tan store December of 2018. We knew with that income we would finally be able to move out of my parents’ house. This is the not so sexy reality of getting pregnant at 19 while working as a part time waiter and your boyfriend making $12 an hour. We could not afford anything. So since September of 2016 we have been so blessed to live with my parents. We could not be more thankful for their love and generosity. We truly believe that having season of communal living is so natural and we really have enjoyed it. But at the beginning of 2019 we could feel the tides turning.


In March we told the world we were pregnant with our second child. It was a complete surprise and it hindered our plans. We still had hope of moving into our own place somehow. Until we were hid with something that would change our lives for well who knows how long. A moment of being human and the results of living in an imperfect world, our lives changed. We had to go into a great deal of debt and have to live in waiting while the things out of our hands are figured out. We gave up on our dreams of moving out on our own for a while. My parents are so good to us and God has given them so much generosity for us. We truly are blessed. In the late summer of 2019 my parents began looking for a house with more room for us. It was our sin and humanity that landed us with my parents but in our journey to follow God despite our previous bad choices; God has truly blessed us. In September, I gave birth to a beautiful daughter. During the winter months, I have come to realize going back to work for a married mother of two and no degree will be hard. I would need to make over $20 an hour to make a profit when you take away childcare expenses. It has been a really hard year. It has had amazing jobs with the birth of a child, creation of good friendships, and families love encompassing us; but it was not the year we dreamed.

Why don’t we dive into the fun moments? I will go month by month.


January was simple. We spent time as a family. We grew in love. For the first time in a long time I felt a deep closeness to Daniel and our love for each other grew. We took David fishing for the first time. Enjoyed welcoming Islay Grace into our lives. We rooted for the Cowboys together. I got to my best physique. It was a beautiful month.

February was a month of change. This was a month of me feeling incredibly sick. I had morning sickness and was having to hide it from my coworkers. Funny story, I had a feeling I was pregnant but what girl doesn’t have those a couple times a year. The best thing to do is test and find out; because most the time it is negative. I was at work when I tested. Later that night I get a text from one of my employees saying something like Oh my gosh I found a positive pregnancy test in the bathroom trash. Anyways I had to remind my employees that we must be respectful of others privacy blah blah. So the girls kept asking me every time I wasn’t feeling well if that test was mine. I spent the month of February lying to my coworkers and best friend at work. That was hard but a good story looking back.

March was when we got bold. We told my family and announced it to the world when I got to my second trimester. We got overwhelming support from family and friends. I changed my look and cut my hair. It felt so good to look like a new person again and match this new season of motherhood. We found my midwife during this time and decided to cash flow our baby’s birth. It was such fun touring birthing centers and I am so happy with the one I chose. It led to an amazing birth experience. This was also the month hardship struck. Our marriage got hard and my anxiety got worse. But as always God prepares us, I placed an order at the end of this month for 6 months of the Date Night in a Box membership. So before we went into a lot of debt God made sure our marriage was invested in.

April came and with it came adventures and the reigniting of my love for health and wellness. We got to explore the Dinosaur exhibit at the Dallas zoo. David was in awe and loved every moment of it. He is still obsessed with dinosaurs. We had an Easter Hunt with Daniels family and got to see David enjoy life. He really gained so much personality and desires for life this month. Towards the end of the month I started eating healthy and working out again. I had to if I was going to surviving working on my feet as a manager till I gave birth. I felt my cup start filling up again and my passion for life reignited.

May was a mix of joy and struggle. We got to enjoy my sister and her family come for a visit. We got to take her to see our sonogram as well. This was when my sister and I really started talking about her coming down to help me during labor. My Birthday came and I was so thankful for my mother who worked hard to make it special for me. Daniel and I were so stressed out and busy with life we did not get to make it a priority. If you know anything about me Birthdays are incredibly important to me. So that was a blessing.

June was a month of celebration. We had my gender reveal party. It was an intimate gather and I felt the overwhelming blessing of those who chose to come. It was a girl we found out. I could not have been happier in that. This month I had a very hard day and my sweet husband sent flowers to me at work. The note said, “From your loving husband. I hope this makes you feel special. I just want to let you know that you’re the flower to my world.” It still makes my heart melt.

July was a good month. We got a weekend alone to bond as a family while my parents traveled. We finally did our first Date Night in a Box and it reignited out passion for each other. Even Daniel will tell you it was a huge help. We ended up sharing a video of out date and won their monthly contest and with that got a $500 gift card to Ticket Master. That led to so much more fun this year. I started glowing this month. I got to fall in love with Joann. I fell in love with her name to and how God spoke to me through it. Her name means God is Gracious or Gift from God. She truly was just that. We did not know we needed her and again were not ready for a baby; but she was truly a gift. I think a big take away for me this year was that God has a big plan and it does not fall into alignment with my visions. But that is the good thing because his plan is better.

August brought more blessings. had my baby shower. I was blessed with all the gifts and over 6 months of diaper and wipes funds. I was grateful for the family and friends that came. I also got to be a influencer for Village Natural Therapy this month. This really lite my fire and helped mold my vision plan for the future. August came with scares. I had the fear of getting preeclampsia again. My BP kept rising, I kept swelling and I became miserable. I had to re-staff my store this month and the stress was overwhelming. I wanted to give up and quit. But I knew my family needed the money so I held on.

September was amazing but by far one of the most emotional months. I had moments of pure bliss and moments where I locked myself in the bathroom at work crying from a broken heart. I got to be in a maternity photoshoot which would have felt like a dream but unfortunately I had to work a 12 hour shift the night before due to an employee quitting. My mother got me through it and I ended up with some good pictures when they got me to fake a smile. That next week I was training new people and working crazy hours. I had two more people quit and I realized I couldn’t do it anymore. My BP was all over the place. I was swollen and had to do many remedies to help keep it down so I could walk. I would feel dizzy and exhausted. Working alone was my biggest fear. I ended up quitting which was a blessing. My midwife a few days after I quit tested me for Preeclampsia based on high BP. My sister came down to be with me because I thought I was going into labor. I wasn’t but my body was getting ready. The tests came back clean but based on how bad I was feeling we came to the decision to let my midwife break my water. I was 38 weeks and ready to have a baby. With my induction with David he came out 5 hours after they broke my water when nothing else moved labor along. The morning of September 19 we broke my water. We were expected to have a baby late that night, but Joann came fast and strong. My labor surprised us all. It was hard let me tell you but it came on so quick I truly didn’t have many chances for it to freak me out or give me anxiety for more than minutes. I will share my birth story this year. But it was an amazing experience. I am so thankful for my husband, sister, Islay, and mother getting to be a part of it.  Joann was a nursing champ. David was an incredible big brother with such passionate love for his sister.

October comes with blessings. The first day is my husband’s birthday so we get to start this month celebrating his life. We had a rough week with Joann getting bronchiolitis at 3 weeks old but we survived. Yet again I was blessed with food from family friends and my chiropractor. We got to celebrate my sweet David’s Birthday. We also got to celebrate Halloween. This by far was David’s favorite month. He comes alive with events, being around people, and holidays. He loves when we decorate and make things a BIG deal. It gives me such joy.

November came with finding myself while being a stay at home mom of two. I have learned to find joy in the chaos of motherhood. We spent Thanksgiving with family. Daniel got to take David to see the Monster Truck Rally with Papal. We are still retelling tales of this every day. The boys got to have such a great adventures. We were blessed with a good deal on family pictures as well this month. I would say November was a family focused month.

December was pure adventures. It started with seeing Disney on Ice. I braved it and took Joann wrapped in my Boba. We all had such a good time. I highly recommend seeing it. David got to see and play with Santa at the local play place and that was a big deal for him. I got to take my cousin Abi to see the Jonas Brother in concert. It was 10 years after my first concert with them. I enjoyed every minute of it and it made me feel young again. I highly recommend every mom go to a concert to feel young again. David and I crafted. We got to give cards to people in a nursing home and bless them. We got to spend Christmas with almost everyone in our family. We ended the year having a great day as a family. Daniel fell asleep on my chest while I was watching Friends for the last time as the New Year started.

Here is to an amazing 2019! I hope your year was as good as ours.