If you were to ask me to sum up this pasts year or even the
past five years I would have to say, “It was the best of times, it was the
worst of time, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was
the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of
Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the
winter of despair…”Charles Dickens could not have described this season of life
better. I would like to take you through all out big moments and show you the
great events of our life during 2019. But before I do that I would like to
preface it by giving you the raw truth of what was happening behind the scenes.
So here we go, here is to being as transparent as I can be.
Last year was started with such hope. I had finally gotten the promotion I had been grinding for the past year. I became manager of my Palm Beach Tan store December of 2018. We knew with that income we would finally be able to move out of my parents’ house. This is the not so sexy reality of getting pregnant at 19 while working as a part time waiter and your boyfriend making $12 an hour. We could not afford anything. So since September of 2016 we have been so blessed to live with my parents. We could not be more thankful for their love and generosity. We truly believe that having season of communal living is so natural and we really have enjoyed it. But at the beginning of 2019 we could feel the tides turning.
In March we told the world we were pregnant with our second child. It was a complete surprise and it hindered our plans. We still had hope of moving into our own place somehow. Until we were hid with something that would change our lives for well who knows how long. A moment of being human and the results of living in an imperfect world, our lives changed. We had to go into a great deal of debt and have to live in waiting while the things out of our hands are figured out. We gave up on our dreams of moving out on our own for a while. My parents are so good to us and God has given them so much generosity for us. We truly are blessed. In the late summer of 2019 my parents began looking for a house with more room for us. It was our sin and humanity that landed us with my parents but in our journey to follow God despite our previous bad choices; God has truly blessed us. In September, I gave birth to a beautiful daughter. During the winter months, I have come to realize going back to work for a married mother of two and no degree will be hard. I would need to make over $20 an hour to make a profit when you take away childcare expenses. It has been a really hard year. It has had amazing jobs with the birth of a child, creation of good friendships, and families love encompassing us; but it was not the year we dreamed.
Why don’t we dive into the fun moments? I will go month by month.
January was simple. We spent time as a family. We grew in love. For the first time in a long time I felt a deep closeness to Daniel and our love for each other grew. We took David fishing for the first time. Enjoyed welcoming Islay Grace into our lives. We rooted for the Cowboys together. I got to my best physique. It was a beautiful month.
February was a month of change. This was a month of me feeling incredibly sick. I had morning sickness and was having to hide it from my coworkers. Funny story, I had a feeling I was pregnant but what girl doesn’t have those a couple times a year. The best thing to do is test and find out; because most the time it is negative. I was at work when I tested. Later that night I get a text from one of my employees saying something like Oh my gosh I found a positive pregnancy test in the bathroom trash. Anyways I had to remind my employees that we must be respectful of others privacy blah blah. So the girls kept asking me every time I wasn’t feeling well if that test was mine. I spent the month of February lying to my coworkers and best friend at work. That was hard but a good story looking back.
March was when we got bold. We told my family and announced it to the world when I got to my second trimester. We got overwhelming support from family and friends. I changed my look and cut my hair. It felt so good to look like a new person again and match this new season of motherhood. We found my midwife during this time and decided to cash flow our baby’s birth. It was such fun touring birthing centers and I am so happy with the one I chose. It led to an amazing birth experience. This was also the month hardship struck. Our marriage got hard and my anxiety got worse. But as always God prepares us, I placed an order at the end of this month for 6 months of the Date Night in a Box membership. So before we went into a lot of debt God made sure our marriage was invested in.
April came and with it came adventures and the reigniting of my love for health and wellness. We got to explore the Dinosaur exhibit at the Dallas zoo. David was in awe and loved every moment of it. He is still obsessed with dinosaurs. We had an Easter Hunt with Daniels family and got to see David enjoy life. He really gained so much personality and desires for life this month. Towards the end of the month I started eating healthy and working out again. I had to if I was going to surviving working on my feet as a manager till I gave birth. I felt my cup start filling up again and my passion for life reignited.
May was a mix of joy and struggle. We got to enjoy my sister and her family come for a visit. We got to take her to see our sonogram as well. This was when my sister and I really started talking about her coming down to help me during labor. My Birthday came and I was so thankful for my mother who worked hard to make it special for me. Daniel and I were so stressed out and busy with life we did not get to make it a priority. If you know anything about me Birthdays are incredibly important to me. So that was a blessing.
June was a month of celebration. We had my gender reveal party. It was an intimate gather and I felt the overwhelming blessing of those who chose to come. It was a girl we found out. I could not have been happier in that. This month I had a very hard day and my sweet husband sent flowers to me at work. The note said, “From your loving husband. I hope this makes you feel special. I just want to let you know that you’re the flower to my world.” It still makes my heart melt.
July was a good month. We got a weekend alone to bond as a family while my parents traveled. We finally did our first Date Night in a Box and it reignited out passion for each other. Even Daniel will tell you it was a huge help. We ended up sharing a video of out date and won their monthly contest and with that got a $500 gift card to Ticket Master. That led to so much more fun this year. I started glowing this month. I got to fall in love with Joann. I fell in love with her name to and how God spoke to me through it. Her name means God is Gracious or Gift from God. She truly was just that. We did not know we needed her and again were not ready for a baby; but she was truly a gift. I think a big take away for me this year was that God has a big plan and it does not fall into alignment with my visions. But that is the good thing because his plan is better.
August brought more blessings. had my baby shower. I was blessed with all the gifts and over 6 months of diaper and wipes funds. I was grateful for the family and friends that came. I also got to be a influencer for Village Natural Therapy this month. This really lite my fire and helped mold my vision plan for the future. August came with scares. I had the fear of getting preeclampsia again. My BP kept rising, I kept swelling and I became miserable. I had to re-staff my store this month and the stress was overwhelming. I wanted to give up and quit. But I knew my family needed the money so I held on.
September was amazing but by far one of the most emotional months. I had moments of pure bliss and moments where I locked myself in the bathroom at work crying from a broken heart. I got to be in a maternity photoshoot which would have felt like a dream but unfortunately I had to work a 12 hour shift the night before due to an employee quitting. My mother got me through it and I ended up with some good pictures when they got me to fake a smile. That next week I was training new people and working crazy hours. I had two more people quit and I realized I couldn’t do it anymore. My BP was all over the place. I was swollen and had to do many remedies to help keep it down so I could walk. I would feel dizzy and exhausted. Working alone was my biggest fear. I ended up quitting which was a blessing. My midwife a few days after I quit tested me for Preeclampsia based on high BP. My sister came down to be with me because I thought I was going into labor. I wasn’t but my body was getting ready. The tests came back clean but based on how bad I was feeling we came to the decision to let my midwife break my water. I was 38 weeks and ready to have a baby. With my induction with David he came out 5 hours after they broke my water when nothing else moved labor along. The morning of September 19 we broke my water. We were expected to have a baby late that night, but Joann came fast and strong. My labor surprised us all. It was hard let me tell you but it came on so quick I truly didn’t have many chances for it to freak me out or give me anxiety for more than minutes. I will share my birth story this year. But it was an amazing experience. I am so thankful for my husband, sister, Islay, and mother getting to be a part of it. Joann was a nursing champ. David was an incredible big brother with such passionate love for his sister.
October comes with blessings. The first day is my husband’s birthday so we get to start this month celebrating his life. We had a rough week with Joann getting bronchiolitis at 3 weeks old but we survived. Yet again I was blessed with food from family friends and my chiropractor. We got to celebrate my sweet David’s Birthday. We also got to celebrate Halloween. This by far was David’s favorite month. He comes alive with events, being around people, and holidays. He loves when we decorate and make things a BIG deal. It gives me such joy.
November came with finding myself while being a stay at home mom of two. I have learned to find joy in the chaos of motherhood. We spent Thanksgiving with family. Daniel got to take David to see the Monster Truck Rally with Papal. We are still retelling tales of this every day. The boys got to have such a great adventures. We were blessed with a good deal on family pictures as well this month. I would say November was a family focused month.
December was pure adventures. It started with seeing Disney on Ice. I braved it and took Joann wrapped in my Boba. We all had such a good time. I highly recommend seeing it. David got to see and play with Santa at the local play place and that was a big deal for him. I got to take my cousin Abi to see the Jonas Brother in concert. It was 10 years after my first concert with them. I enjoyed every minute of it and it made me feel young again. I highly recommend every mom go to a concert to feel young again. David and I crafted. We got to give cards to people in a nursing home and bless them. We got to spend Christmas with almost everyone in our family. We ended the year having a great day as a family. Daniel fell asleep on my chest while I was watching Friends for the last time as the New Year started.
Here is to an amazing 2019! I hope your year was as good as ours.
Last year was started with such hope. I had finally gotten the promotion I had been grinding for the past year. I became manager of my Palm Beach Tan store December of 2018. We knew with that income we would finally be able to move out of my parents’ house. This is the not so sexy reality of getting pregnant at 19 while working as a part time waiter and your boyfriend making $12 an hour. We could not afford anything. So since September of 2016 we have been so blessed to live with my parents. We could not be more thankful for their love and generosity. We truly believe that having season of communal living is so natural and we really have enjoyed it. But at the beginning of 2019 we could feel the tides turning.
In March we told the world we were pregnant with our second child. It was a complete surprise and it hindered our plans. We still had hope of moving into our own place somehow. Until we were hid with something that would change our lives for well who knows how long. A moment of being human and the results of living in an imperfect world, our lives changed. We had to go into a great deal of debt and have to live in waiting while the things out of our hands are figured out. We gave up on our dreams of moving out on our own for a while. My parents are so good to us and God has given them so much generosity for us. We truly are blessed. In the late summer of 2019 my parents began looking for a house with more room for us. It was our sin and humanity that landed us with my parents but in our journey to follow God despite our previous bad choices; God has truly blessed us. In September, I gave birth to a beautiful daughter. During the winter months, I have come to realize going back to work for a married mother of two and no degree will be hard. I would need to make over $20 an hour to make a profit when you take away childcare expenses. It has been a really hard year. It has had amazing jobs with the birth of a child, creation of good friendships, and families love encompassing us; but it was not the year we dreamed.
Why don’t we dive into the fun moments? I will go month by month.
January was simple. We spent time as a family. We grew in love. For the first time in a long time I felt a deep closeness to Daniel and our love for each other grew. We took David fishing for the first time. Enjoyed welcoming Islay Grace into our lives. We rooted for the Cowboys together. I got to my best physique. It was a beautiful month.
February was a month of change. This was a month of me feeling incredibly sick. I had morning sickness and was having to hide it from my coworkers. Funny story, I had a feeling I was pregnant but what girl doesn’t have those a couple times a year. The best thing to do is test and find out; because most the time it is negative. I was at work when I tested. Later that night I get a text from one of my employees saying something like Oh my gosh I found a positive pregnancy test in the bathroom trash. Anyways I had to remind my employees that we must be respectful of others privacy blah blah. So the girls kept asking me every time I wasn’t feeling well if that test was mine. I spent the month of February lying to my coworkers and best friend at work. That was hard but a good story looking back.
March was when we got bold. We told my family and announced it to the world when I got to my second trimester. We got overwhelming support from family and friends. I changed my look and cut my hair. It felt so good to look like a new person again and match this new season of motherhood. We found my midwife during this time and decided to cash flow our baby’s birth. It was such fun touring birthing centers and I am so happy with the one I chose. It led to an amazing birth experience. This was also the month hardship struck. Our marriage got hard and my anxiety got worse. But as always God prepares us, I placed an order at the end of this month for 6 months of the Date Night in a Box membership. So before we went into a lot of debt God made sure our marriage was invested in.
April came and with it came adventures and the reigniting of my love for health and wellness. We got to explore the Dinosaur exhibit at the Dallas zoo. David was in awe and loved every moment of it. He is still obsessed with dinosaurs. We had an Easter Hunt with Daniels family and got to see David enjoy life. He really gained so much personality and desires for life this month. Towards the end of the month I started eating healthy and working out again. I had to if I was going to surviving working on my feet as a manager till I gave birth. I felt my cup start filling up again and my passion for life reignited.
May was a mix of joy and struggle. We got to enjoy my sister and her family come for a visit. We got to take her to see our sonogram as well. This was when my sister and I really started talking about her coming down to help me during labor. My Birthday came and I was so thankful for my mother who worked hard to make it special for me. Daniel and I were so stressed out and busy with life we did not get to make it a priority. If you know anything about me Birthdays are incredibly important to me. So that was a blessing.
June was a month of celebration. We had my gender reveal party. It was an intimate gather and I felt the overwhelming blessing of those who chose to come. It was a girl we found out. I could not have been happier in that. This month I had a very hard day and my sweet husband sent flowers to me at work. The note said, “From your loving husband. I hope this makes you feel special. I just want to let you know that you’re the flower to my world.” It still makes my heart melt.
July was a good month. We got a weekend alone to bond as a family while my parents traveled. We finally did our first Date Night in a Box and it reignited out passion for each other. Even Daniel will tell you it was a huge help. We ended up sharing a video of out date and won their monthly contest and with that got a $500 gift card to Ticket Master. That led to so much more fun this year. I started glowing this month. I got to fall in love with Joann. I fell in love with her name to and how God spoke to me through it. Her name means God is Gracious or Gift from God. She truly was just that. We did not know we needed her and again were not ready for a baby; but she was truly a gift. I think a big take away for me this year was that God has a big plan and it does not fall into alignment with my visions. But that is the good thing because his plan is better.
August brought more blessings. had my baby shower. I was blessed with all the gifts and over 6 months of diaper and wipes funds. I was grateful for the family and friends that came. I also got to be a influencer for Village Natural Therapy this month. This really lite my fire and helped mold my vision plan for the future. August came with scares. I had the fear of getting preeclampsia again. My BP kept rising, I kept swelling and I became miserable. I had to re-staff my store this month and the stress was overwhelming. I wanted to give up and quit. But I knew my family needed the money so I held on.
September was amazing but by far one of the most emotional months. I had moments of pure bliss and moments where I locked myself in the bathroom at work crying from a broken heart. I got to be in a maternity photoshoot which would have felt like a dream but unfortunately I had to work a 12 hour shift the night before due to an employee quitting. My mother got me through it and I ended up with some good pictures when they got me to fake a smile. That next week I was training new people and working crazy hours. I had two more people quit and I realized I couldn’t do it anymore. My BP was all over the place. I was swollen and had to do many remedies to help keep it down so I could walk. I would feel dizzy and exhausted. Working alone was my biggest fear. I ended up quitting which was a blessing. My midwife a few days after I quit tested me for Preeclampsia based on high BP. My sister came down to be with me because I thought I was going into labor. I wasn’t but my body was getting ready. The tests came back clean but based on how bad I was feeling we came to the decision to let my midwife break my water. I was 38 weeks and ready to have a baby. With my induction with David he came out 5 hours after they broke my water when nothing else moved labor along. The morning of September 19 we broke my water. We were expected to have a baby late that night, but Joann came fast and strong. My labor surprised us all. It was hard let me tell you but it came on so quick I truly didn’t have many chances for it to freak me out or give me anxiety for more than minutes. I will share my birth story this year. But it was an amazing experience. I am so thankful for my husband, sister, Islay, and mother getting to be a part of it. Joann was a nursing champ. David was an incredible big brother with such passionate love for his sister.
October comes with blessings. The first day is my husband’s birthday so we get to start this month celebrating his life. We had a rough week with Joann getting bronchiolitis at 3 weeks old but we survived. Yet again I was blessed with food from family friends and my chiropractor. We got to celebrate my sweet David’s Birthday. We also got to celebrate Halloween. This by far was David’s favorite month. He comes alive with events, being around people, and holidays. He loves when we decorate and make things a BIG deal. It gives me such joy.
November came with finding myself while being a stay at home mom of two. I have learned to find joy in the chaos of motherhood. We spent Thanksgiving with family. Daniel got to take David to see the Monster Truck Rally with Papal. We are still retelling tales of this every day. The boys got to have such a great adventures. We were blessed with a good deal on family pictures as well this month. I would say November was a family focused month.
December was pure adventures. It started with seeing Disney on Ice. I braved it and took Joann wrapped in my Boba. We all had such a good time. I highly recommend seeing it. David got to see and play with Santa at the local play place and that was a big deal for him. I got to take my cousin Abi to see the Jonas Brother in concert. It was 10 years after my first concert with them. I enjoyed every minute of it and it made me feel young again. I highly recommend every mom go to a concert to feel young again. David and I crafted. We got to give cards to people in a nursing home and bless them. We got to spend Christmas with almost everyone in our family. We ended the year having a great day as a family. Daniel fell asleep on my chest while I was watching Friends for the last time as the New Year started.
Here is to an amazing 2019! I hope your year was as good as ours.
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