I know I am not the only one who has been caught saying
this. In fact I spent the whole first year of our marriage saying that all the
time. It almost ruined us. In fact the only reason it didn’t was because I got
a job and we became more like equals. Now I am back at home being a wife, mom,
and homemaker. It can often feel that our husbands are lazy. I mean they get
off work and sit on the couch watching The Mandalorian or playing video games.
We have the overwhelming pressure to get dinner on, clean the house, wrangle
the kids, and after doing all the things we are supposed to save energy for intimate
time with our husbands. Let’s be real we almost never get all those things done
successfully, instead it looks like utter chaos, an emotional breakdown in the
kitchen, and by the time you crawl into bed your literally snoring the second
your head hits the pillow.
We are over worked and underappreciated. So obviously this man who expects everything from us is lazy. He pees on the toilet rim, leaves his clothes on the floor, and thinks watching TV with the kids is a quality way to take care of them. What a lazy man! Why should we serve him? Why won’t he help us? Why does he get to be lazy and yet we are supposed to be freaking Cinderella. By that I mean a maid, last on the priority list, never has time for rest, and supposed to show up beautiful at midnight. Why would we every want to show him love?
Let me be real honest with you for a second. I want to ask you a question and then show you an alternative reality. Don’t close the browser give me a real chance. It will be worth it trust me. Ask yourself, “What do I do for him?” I am not talking about making him dinner, grocery shopping, cleaning the house, keeping the kids alive, and keeping the house from burning down. What do you do for him outside of your role/job as mother and housekeeper? What do you do for him as a loving wife? And no sex once a week in which you complain about and think about your to-do list during does NOT count. What do you do for your husband as a loving wife?
When we become moms we put our husbands on the back burner. He no longer gets our attention and love. In a marriage where it once brought you joy to cook and clean for him; you don’t feel like it anymore. In a marriage where once he came home to help you clean as fast as he could so the two of you could have a romantic night together. That reality no longer exists. It is gone. Both of you feel like the last man on the totem pole.
From a man’s perspective this is what he sees. He wakes up early to go to a job he hates, works long hours at, or is just plain stressful. He gets ready and goes to work and is lucky to get a kiss from a fast asleep wife. He throws whatever is in the fridge, sometimes only yogurt and fruit, into his lunch box because if he breaks the budget and eats out there will be hell to pay. He spends all day busting his butt working hard. He gets a few texts from his wife now and then, but when she has a question she won’t stop calling or texting in all caps. He thinks, “Does she not understand this is dangerous,” “I’m in a meeting,” or “I am not even near my phone?” But when I call her and need her because I am on my way to the ER, I need the kid’s socials for insurance, or I can’t remember what time my appointment is she never answers. He gets home to a house with a full mailbox and 3 Amazon Prime packages still on the doorstep. He opens the door to kids running around, toys are all over, the kitchen has dishes still from yesterday in the sink, the TV is on, and his wife walks up with a smile rocking a messy bun and sweats as she hands the baby off to him. He doesn’t get to even shower, change, or poop before he watches the kids. All he can see is a wife who cannot handle her responsibilities and shows him no respect for the work he does. He feels defeated and underappreciated.
Now that I have truly got your attention, let me tell you a super simple way to remedy at least part of this problem. Mama you have got to step up your game. Turn on something that gets you motivated. Listen to Rachel Hollis or Eric Thomas, whoever lights a fire under you. Get to work being a mom, homemaker, and wife. Start by doing three things a day for your husband as a wife. You know what he likes and what will make him happy. One of the things I try to do for my husband is I wake up with him and make him breakfast, lunch, or both. Somedays I get dressed up just for him an hour before he comes home. I also will from time to time do come cute ideas from the Dating Divas website. I also will layout his clothes for him or have a snack ready for him. Figure out what will make your husband feel loved and do three of them a day. Make him proud that you are his wife. After you have done this for three weeks selflessly, with joy, and expecting nothing in return, reevaluate. Is he still doing nothing or has he began serving you too? If he still is not serving you, then talk to him out of love because you are now being the housekeeper, mom, and wife you are supposed to be.
You may say, “But I have too much on my plate,” “I am just too tired,” or “you have not met my kids.” Girl, this comes from someone who was the messiest person ever; ask my family. Not to mention the fact that I do not enjoy cooking with kids around. It is next to impossible and so stressful. I used to be a competitive snoozer and would take a nap every afternoon. But guess what, I learned something new! I researched and found tips and tricks to make being a wife, house keeper, and mother easier. Do NOT settle mama! Your family deserves the best of you. All you need to do is find out how to give that to them. Start today by adding to your to-do list three special things for your husband. You can do this. Stick to this for three weeks.
If you need more tip and tricks to be successful at this wife, mom, and housekeeping thing be sure to follow me on Instagram. There you will get my daily tips and get notified each time my weekly blog post comes out. You can follow me on Instagram here. I truly hope this will help you as it has changed my marriage.
We are over worked and underappreciated. So obviously this man who expects everything from us is lazy. He pees on the toilet rim, leaves his clothes on the floor, and thinks watching TV with the kids is a quality way to take care of them. What a lazy man! Why should we serve him? Why won’t he help us? Why does he get to be lazy and yet we are supposed to be freaking Cinderella. By that I mean a maid, last on the priority list, never has time for rest, and supposed to show up beautiful at midnight. Why would we every want to show him love?
Let me be real honest with you for a second. I want to ask you a question and then show you an alternative reality. Don’t close the browser give me a real chance. It will be worth it trust me. Ask yourself, “What do I do for him?” I am not talking about making him dinner, grocery shopping, cleaning the house, keeping the kids alive, and keeping the house from burning down. What do you do for him outside of your role/job as mother and housekeeper? What do you do for him as a loving wife? And no sex once a week in which you complain about and think about your to-do list during does NOT count. What do you do for your husband as a loving wife?
When we become moms we put our husbands on the back burner. He no longer gets our attention and love. In a marriage where it once brought you joy to cook and clean for him; you don’t feel like it anymore. In a marriage where once he came home to help you clean as fast as he could so the two of you could have a romantic night together. That reality no longer exists. It is gone. Both of you feel like the last man on the totem pole.
From a man’s perspective this is what he sees. He wakes up early to go to a job he hates, works long hours at, or is just plain stressful. He gets ready and goes to work and is lucky to get a kiss from a fast asleep wife. He throws whatever is in the fridge, sometimes only yogurt and fruit, into his lunch box because if he breaks the budget and eats out there will be hell to pay. He spends all day busting his butt working hard. He gets a few texts from his wife now and then, but when she has a question she won’t stop calling or texting in all caps. He thinks, “Does she not understand this is dangerous,” “I’m in a meeting,” or “I am not even near my phone?” But when I call her and need her because I am on my way to the ER, I need the kid’s socials for insurance, or I can’t remember what time my appointment is she never answers. He gets home to a house with a full mailbox and 3 Amazon Prime packages still on the doorstep. He opens the door to kids running around, toys are all over, the kitchen has dishes still from yesterday in the sink, the TV is on, and his wife walks up with a smile rocking a messy bun and sweats as she hands the baby off to him. He doesn’t get to even shower, change, or poop before he watches the kids. All he can see is a wife who cannot handle her responsibilities and shows him no respect for the work he does. He feels defeated and underappreciated.
Now that I have truly got your attention, let me tell you a super simple way to remedy at least part of this problem. Mama you have got to step up your game. Turn on something that gets you motivated. Listen to Rachel Hollis or Eric Thomas, whoever lights a fire under you. Get to work being a mom, homemaker, and wife. Start by doing three things a day for your husband as a wife. You know what he likes and what will make him happy. One of the things I try to do for my husband is I wake up with him and make him breakfast, lunch, or both. Somedays I get dressed up just for him an hour before he comes home. I also will from time to time do come cute ideas from the Dating Divas website. I also will layout his clothes for him or have a snack ready for him. Figure out what will make your husband feel loved and do three of them a day. Make him proud that you are his wife. After you have done this for three weeks selflessly, with joy, and expecting nothing in return, reevaluate. Is he still doing nothing or has he began serving you too? If he still is not serving you, then talk to him out of love because you are now being the housekeeper, mom, and wife you are supposed to be.
You may say, “But I have too much on my plate,” “I am just too tired,” or “you have not met my kids.” Girl, this comes from someone who was the messiest person ever; ask my family. Not to mention the fact that I do not enjoy cooking with kids around. It is next to impossible and so stressful. I used to be a competitive snoozer and would take a nap every afternoon. But guess what, I learned something new! I researched and found tips and tricks to make being a wife, house keeper, and mother easier. Do NOT settle mama! Your family deserves the best of you. All you need to do is find out how to give that to them. Start today by adding to your to-do list three special things for your husband. You can do this. Stick to this for three weeks.
If you need more tip and tricks to be successful at this wife, mom, and housekeeping thing be sure to follow me on Instagram. There you will get my daily tips and get notified each time my weekly blog post comes out. You can follow me on Instagram here. I truly hope this will help you as it has changed my marriage.
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